Sunday, 14 June 2009
been away on holiday to the new forest and have had a fab time with my kids , my medis have been changed and i feel 'normal ' again ,
have had a chat with my step daughter today and she is becoming a child minder and i a am ringing tommorrow to get on the course then i can stay at home with my kids and be happy , yes i love being a nurse but i need to look after me and my family to .
i am going to be godmother to my little neices on the 19th july and want to have lost at least a stone by then
love and hugs xxxxxx
Tuesday, 19 May 2009
i have been off line for a while as i have servere depression to the extent that i was going to end it , i am back on my medications and i feel better not complete but better . i am seeing a councillor and it is helping i have to learn to talk and not keep secrets ,i am so good at secrets i keep things bottled up untill i have burst so here goes i am going to share this is thearpy as you say
1) i was sexual assulted at the age of 10
2) i was raped twice as a student nurse , sodamised once
3) i have abused alchol and have a problem with it
4) i have abused drugs both prescribed and ileagal
5)i binge eat , comfort eat , and starve myself
6) i self harm
i have made the decision to stop drinking and i could kill one now ,i am back at weight watchers and i am going to use this as a sounding off board
my hubby who is 20 yrs older than me had a stroke on easter sunday and has had 2 mini strokes since and i am so scared he is going to die and leave me .
tiny baby steps and everthing will go forward may be slow but will be forward
thanks and sorry didnt mean to offend or upset
Monday, 2 February 2009
have been cooking for england am going to have to try and get to work tonite but the weather is horriable and if i get stuck there i wont be happy .
weightwatchers is hard work am trying to be good but am just stressing out again and again am going to get there only need 1lb and i have my 50lb certificate
wish me luck and send me positive vibes please
Tiffany aka madmumtj
Tuesday, 27 January 2009
no gradual drop "just bang and the points were gone"
i am on nites hence the ungodly hour but have been so good staying within my points . have had a fab supper 2 wholemeal rolls filled with cottage cheese and chunky diced cuecumber,celery and tomatoes and a ton of freshly ground black pepper really yummy and i have my 0 point soup for later and i have another orange as well "yummy yummy for my shrinking tummy"
regarding my dad spoke to my mum didnt tell her he had rung me but asked how he was and she said that he was acting strange all peaceful and nice!!! i understand that my dad is dying, and with all my strengh i am not going to comfort eat , he is pround that i am losing weight and my kids are too. going over to see them this weekend with the kids.
any how have to go do some work now
love and hugs tiffany xx
sorry this is so hard he said that he didn't have much longer and that he had made my mum go to bingo cause she has to keep her friends as she will need them when he has died, he has terminal cancer ,has had a stroke and has an inoperable aortic aneurysm . he wanted me to know he was proud of me and my kids and we made him happy. he said i wasnt to tell my mum he had phoned ,
Saturday, 24 January 2009
love for now Tiffany
PS. only need 3.5lb for my 50lb certificate back
i am so sad , i have misscarried my baby , i hadnt even had chance to tell any one yet it was such a surprise the pregancy, i can not tell husband as he doesnt want to try for any more , but if it was to happen he would be happy (his words) he is so depressed at the moment i dont think he could cope, but my friends on line have kept me going and for that i thank them from the bottom of my heart you are all solid gold. as for weight watchers it went pear shape but i did manage a 0.5 lb loss but heart not in it at all .
love tiffany xx
Sunday, 11 January 2009
well on the 10/01/2009 i went on my first ever protest march, we walked round the proposed site of an open cast coal mineing in the next village, it will distroy the country side and make so much mess and what for 14 days worth of coal for the three power stations round here and the company will not put it back as it is now. Me and hubby and the four children all did it and i was so proud of the kids they walked never complained even the littlest one did it, she is only 3 she carried her placard and had her picture taken by so many people. The people from the news where there so we will be on the telly too.
I took them for macdonalds as a treat and was sort off good had a big mac no chips or extras and had a bagal and cheese for supper . but with all that excercise should have a few bonus points.
ouch ouch ouch i have blisters on blisters but am still on a high from that walk yesterday. today who knows but not a good start with an egg custard for breakfast (4.5 points) must behave, i am trying not to have a sneacky peek but it is so hard not to before starting WW i weighed myself at least twice aday every day ,have got it down to couple times a week but i know it not helpful, have tried to throw them out but ended up in boots daily weighing so scales are back. BUT do i or dont i today. NO i am going to do the ironing instead yuk yuk yuk.
good luck on your journey love tiffany xxxxxx
Friday, 9 January 2009
first- being able to wear knickers that are a proper size ie size 22 not 22-24 and they are a bit on big size, size 20 here i come .
second- have been able to wear socks for the first time in years , i mean since being at school, haven't taken them off yet.
third- went and got my finger measured for my wedding ring, i went to this shop last may (2008) and was measured as a Z+ which is the largest you can be without being made specially and it was going to cost me £100 to have my wedding ring and engagement enlarged. well we went in to day and it was the same lady and she measured my finger which is now a T, at this rate am going to have my rings made smaller.
fourth- a man said that my bum looks lovely in my jeans ,he he
Today the need for points is great have the munchies big time
am drinking loads but want to eat and eat anything that is not nailed down might have some rice crackers and cheese in a mo.
i have worked out that butternut squash in a soup is not for me can eat it baked and roasted but not soup it gives me wind big style.........
Thursday, 8 January 2009
- to have my 50lb cetificate in 3 weeks ie 29/01/09
- to lose 2lb a week
- another week of fast track
- do minimum of 15000 steps a day
- do 30 mins on tread mill with meatloaf aday
so plan for today going out with hubby to buy some nice knickers , and have a subway for my lunch well it is weigh in day .am going to get my ring finger measured as well as have choosen my eternity ring that i want when i reach goal , wishing you all luck on your ww journey till next time bye tiffany xxx
ps. photo of me and hubby on our aniversary 10 years in 2008
Wednesday, 7 January 2009
my start weight last may was 22st 4lb and i was wearing a very tight size 30-32 bottom and 28 top. i was not happy with myself i hide from all photos or reasons for anyone to see me . my favorite clothes were black and tent like.
when i hit 22st i cried for days my legs were huge my knees had fat overflow on them my hips were massive and i had saddle bags on saddle bags, had two bellies and a neck like a bull and i hated myself enough to think of ending it all.
then my best friend in the north started at weight watchers and she was losing weight and showed me the online weight watchers and suddenly it was a way i could do it i didn't have to go any where, i work regular nites and am either at work or sleeping so meetings were out. but on line i could do it couldn't i .
From then on i yo-yo'd my way down to 18stone 10.5lb by christmas only to put on 10 lb over the christmas and new year period.
i re started my journey on the 2 of january 2009 and have been so very good i am exercising and watching my points and plan to be at goal of 11 stone by may 2010.please join me on my journey laugh with me, cry with me and most of all loose with me
love Tiffany xxx